As you likely know if you follow me on Twitter, I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2015, well into my thirties. At the time, all I knew about it was from having had two daughters diagnosed shortly beforehand. In fact, that was how I came to my own diagnosis; we were sitting in the pediatric neurologist's office at Children's Hospital Boston, and as he explained what led him to make the diagnosis, I thought, "Wait, that sounds a lot like me." Several months and a whole lot of phone calls and doctors' visits later, it turned out there was a reason for that.
Getting the diagnosis was literally life changing. At the time, my self esteem was completely gone, I felt like a fraud because of not being able to consistently perform at my job, and my anxiety was through the roof because of that as well as a variety of coping mechanisms for a disorder I didn't know I had. The diagnosis was important for being able to get help through medication, sure, but even more so for helping me to understand why I am the way I am. It turns out that a variety of things that I wouldn't even have considered as part of ADHD, like my extreme sensitivity to criticism (or even perceived criticism), poor sleep and eating habits, memory issues, and constant misunderstandings and conflicts in interpersonal relationships, weren't just character flaws but actually symptoms of ADHD. Understanding that these things that I saw as failings in myself were actually part of the disorder helped me accept myself the way I am, instead of constantly regretting the person I thought I should be, and cursing the fact that I couldn't live up to "my potential".
That brings me to October, which is ADHD Awareness Month. "But everyone knows that ADHD exists," you may be thinking. And, to an extent, that's true, but a large number of people still have an extremely surface level understanding of what ADHD is, likely envisioning a troublesome and disruptive kid in their elementary school classrooms. ADHD can be that, but it also manifests itself in a wide range of other ways, and that means that even people who have been living with it their whole lives, and getting through life with coping mechanisms they've devised on their own, may not have it. That's how I ended up going 35 years without a diagnosis; I got by, but not without a lot of struggle.
Just as important as awareness is acceptance. Acceptance means having empathy for someone who interrupts, or is sometimes late, or forgets things occasionally, for instance. It means having adjusted expectations for the people in your life with ADHD, and not holding them to neurotypical standards, the same way you wouldn't get upset with someone in a wheelchair for not being able to climb a flight of stairs. It's also appreciating the wonderful things that people with ADHD can accomplish; some of the most creative and inspiring people I know also have ADHD, and the way it makes their brains different makes them capable of incredible things (even if that's not on a predictable schedule). Even if you think there's no one in your life who fits this description, it's very likely there is, but they may just not have opened up about it; they may not even know themselves yet.
In honor of ADHD Awareness/Acceptance Month, I'll be running a donation drive on my stream for Extra Life to benefit Children's Hospital Boston. The neurology department there has been nothing short of amazing in terms of diagnosing and supporting my children who have been diagnosed with autism and ADHD, and are indirectly responsible for my own path forward. Raising money to help them continue to do their amazing work is something I'm proud to do, and I hope you'll join me in contributing to this cause.
You can donate at this link, and I'll have links in the chat on my stream all month for donations and to learn more about ADHD. Let's work together to make the world more inclusive for neurodivergent people of all ages.